When It's Not Working

This last weekend, I wasn't singing in harmony. I wasn't singing at all. Didn't know my part. Didn't even know the song. I ranted, I raved, I cried. But singing? Not a note. And my husband? Not even a Pooh hum. Maybe it was the stress of the holidays or my birthday or maybe I was just being ruled by my tone deaf flesh that can't carry a tune in a bucket.

I tried explaining my point of view--my needs. I was careful not to use the words "you always" or "you never". I steered away from assigning blame or implying guilt. I was willing to concede that the problem and discomfort it was causing me was probably partly or even all my fault. (how pathetic is that?) I got sad, then mad, cried, and yelled as I saw no gleam of comprehension or sypathetic chord in my husband's eyes. I was singing notes I had composed myself.

So, I finally gave up and quit trying to be in charge of the song and all its parts and gave the baton back to the Choirmaster. I admitted to God that I didn't know my part, couldn't remember the song, felt like no one else was remotely interested in singing, and if there was going to be any singing of songs, especially in harmony, in our house, He was going to have to arrange and accomplish it, because I was out of ideas and frankly wasn't sure I had the energy for it and maybe, the way I felt right then, maybe I wasn't even interested in singing any more.

And wouldn't you know, that very evening, my husband and I were back to singing our song in harmony. As easy as you please. No sweat, no mess. No delving into anyone's psyche or deep seated motivations. Just peacefu comfort, quiet regard for one another. A sense of well-being. Harmony. (Yes, there were mutual apologies. Painless, I might add.)

I told you all that to say this. Sometimes our life experience will not mirror the truth of God's Word. And we might feel like our prayers, our faith, God's Word--none of it, is working. The results just aren't panning out. But if, in your heart of hearts, you believe God's Word and you've planted it through meditation, you'll be able to let it grow--to sprout, get leaves, and produce fruit. Sometimes, all it takes is to get out of the way--to quit digging around in the soil constantly checking and analyzing the seed to see if it's begun to sprout. Trying to think of ways to force it to sprout. Just put it in the ground. Plant, water, give it light-- through meditation. That's your part. Sprouting and growing and producing fruit--that's God's part. He can't sing your part, and you can't sing His part. Harmony.

Stay Constant in Prayer,
Paula J